Scream For Me
by Setine
Summary: Integra is sick of Alucard scaring her senseless, so after one night she does the impossible to scare him. How bad can it get right? (AXI! Always!)
1. Integral's seduction

Setine: I've written this in the spirit of Halloween.  It's a kawaii one-shot. 

Chibi Seto Kaiba: Setine doesn't own Hellsing!

Setine: Alucard/Integra fans! Enjoy! 

_Curse that Alucard, every year he does the same thing, and every year I fall for it. _Integra walked at a brisk pace down the hall knocking whatever was in her path over and scaring most of the men on her floor. 

_This year, I'll get him, oh 'I'm a vampire therefore I can scare the living daylights out of my master' _ She clenched her fists as she headed down further to the shooting range, she needed to work some of this frustration off. She stopped her rampage in a full hallway, smiled evilly and headed towards the lower chambers. 

As she jogged/walked there, she didn't notice that a fog was building up around her. She touched the handle on the door, and she still didn't notice that a person was behind her. She pulled down and all of a sudden an arm wrapped around her and gagged her mouth. 

"Scream for me." 

Alucard loved the feeling he got. Her whole body tensed up and her heart started to beat faster than normal. He  and she couldn't get to her gun. Pushing her against the wall and placing her two hands high above her head, he sneered evilly "You can't out scare me master." Integra thrashed against his hold. She brought her knee up as Alucard caught it. 

"Now, now master." 

He was about to—when Ceres walked in. 

**"MASTER!" **

_Curse that Alucard. Curse him and his tricks. Now the men think that there's something going on between us. CURSE HIM!! _Integra, in a fit of rage took her fountain pen and scribbled scribbles all over it, finally stabbing it. 

"DIE ALUCARD!!!!" she screamed at the wall and she threw the pen so that it was a dart. 

Master, you throw like a little girl… 

****

**_Why must you be so irritating??_**

****

Integra grasped her gun, ready to make Alucard a sieve.

****

Now, Now Master… 

****

She felt arms around her and a hand reach for her gun. 

****

"How about we play Dracula. I be Dracula and you be the helpless girl that you are."  Alucard whispered in her ear. 

"WHY MUST YOU IRRITATE ME!!??"  

****

"Because, you're the little girl that awoke me from that dungeon, screaming about her breaking her nails. Try to act like a lady."

She got  the perfect idea. 

Prepare to pay dearly Alucard… Why? You'll see… 

Alucard woke up to an overly feminine scream. Bolting from his coffin, he ran into his master's study, not finding her there, he ran up to her bedroom to find her hand on her neck. Rushing to her he grasped her shoulders. 

"Master??" 

"Al—Al—Alucard."  She buried her head on his shoulder, he had brought her to a comfortable hold and started to caress her hair to soothe her.

"Shhshh…" 

"It was horrible… my, my nail… it broke." 

His closed eyes bolted open and pushed her away. 

"What?" 

"My nail, it broke." She shoved her hand in his face. For sure there was a chipped nail and Integral started to sob. "It took me an hour to get these right." 

Alucard widened his eyes as she got up to her dresser, she was wearing a dress… and makeup. She threw a hairbrush at his head. 

"Groom me. My hair needs to be silky." 

Alucard cautiously took a step forward to where Integra was sitting patiently, humming while filling her nails. He let the brush go through the silky platinum locks that were hair. 

WHACK!

"OWWW!!! That hurts!" 

"You're a vampire, I thought that only human's felt pain." She whacked him again. 

"OW!!!" 

Integra laughed as he rubbed his head. Her face fell when the brushing stopped. Grabbing a newspaper.

"GET BACK TO BRUSHING!"

**After a while and several whackings:**

"Its so sad. Did you see Courtney Love's outfit? It's hideous!" 

Alucard started to worry, Integral was acting…well.. like a woman. A very annoying one at that. Once Alucard had finished he sat down on the bed, waiting for the nightmare to end. 

"You need to be thanked." Integra's voice became husky as she brought him up from the bed. Alucard looked at her strangely as she pushed him into a chair. 

"Master??" 

Integra bit her lip as she swooped down and kissed Alucard lightly.

"Happy Halloween Alucard." 

And fired a shot. Alucard had been outdone. Leaving him to regenerate she started to smoke a cigar. 

"I win." She said, flashing a victory sign. She butted out her cigar on his hair.

Alucard swore he'd get his revenage, right after he put the fire on his head out. 

I know it was lame. Does anyone have an idea for an Omake? 


	2. The bait

Setine: After many wonderful reviews, I have considered adding another chapter. 

Seto: Setine _still _doesn't own Hellsing

Setine: G'ak! I just found out  that half the time I was writing Integra and Integral. Gomen ne. 

_Ooh ho ho!! Look who outsmarted Alucard?? _Integral thought gleefully as she was sitting looking at the sunny day while sipping her tea. The whole idea of dressing like a woman was **perfect! **It had Alucard scared senseless. Integral cackled evilly inside her head as started to smoke a cigar.

_Why can't you act like a normal woman? _ He had said. She did, and it scared him out of his wits, that'll teach the wally [1] to ever mess with **Sir **Integral Hellsing. She didn't even notice that Alucard was slowly getting his revenge. Every night he would sneak into her bedroom to give her a taste of her own medicine. 

That night Alucard snuck into her bedroom to find Integral in front of her mirror in a long silk night gown brushing out her platinum hair to make it seem like a waterfall.  

"ALUCARD!" She quickly dashed for her robe, unfortunately for her Alucard got there before her. Her hair became a mess as she fought for her robe. Alucard kept it high above his head. She was acting like a child again, jumping up and waving her arms to get some cloth. Suddenly she stopped jumping and backed off.

"Give up Mas—" 

Integral grabbed his tie and brought him down to kiss him, as he was wrapping his arm around her, she brought her knee up and it connected. 

(a/n: You know where it hit.)

Alucard squeaked as he fell down. 

"Alucard, you might be all mighty, but all men, no matter what, are weak in that—" she was cut short by him grabbing her ankle so that she fell on him.  

"You can't escape me." Wrapping one of arms around hers and pulling them back she couldn't move and one around her waist. Replacing the arm around her arms, but placing them under her, he moved some of her hair and went down to her neck and was about to—when Ceres walked in **again. **

"**SIR INTEGRAL!" **

Integral thrashed against Alucard's hold, but he still held on tighter. 

"VICTORIA IF YOU WANT A MASTER AFTER THIS YOU BETTER GET HIM OFF ME!!!" Integral yelled 

"But I'm not on you Master, you're on me. Doesn't that tell you something?" 

"ALUCARD!!" 

"Master, you have the most beautiful neck I've ever seen." 

"And that is the most creepiest thing anyone has ever said to me. Alucard, get off—NOW!" 

"But I'm under!" 

"DON'T START THIS AGAIN!" 

Ceres, finally frustrated yelled, "YOU TWO ARE LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE!!!!"

And so the bickering ended. Alucard choked and released his hold on Integral, but she was too dazed to get up. Until Walter, the loveable angel walked in. 

"**SIR INTEGAL!! LORD ALUCARD!!!" **

"WE'RE NOT MARRIED!!!" Integral yelled before fainting. Alucard picked her up and placed her on her bed.  He had it. 

**The Next Night: **

****

Integral was walking down the hallway to the basement to yell at Alucard when her senses were attacked with the smell of food. Having being busy the whole day, she didn't get to eat anything. Her mind wasn't made up, concerning the fact that the smell was coming from Alucard's chambers, but her stomach begged her to go. When she walked in, her knees almost buckled from the bishieness (YES!! I MADE UP A WORD!! DEAL WITH IT!!) that Alucard was radiating. He wasn't in his usual red get up, but in solid black. Integral hoped that he hadn't noticed her and that she didn't have to speak. Two delicious items were making her salivate. 

"Master." His voice was soft and inviting. Her mouth opened and her cigar fell onto the ground. "I have a dress on my bed. Wear it." His voice was almost hypnotic. He pulled her near his bed and took off her coat for her.

"Integral, take off the cross." She did so. 

He left her to change. Integral was as if pulled into a hypnotic state pulled on the dress. She didn't notice that Alucard placed a bracelet on her and that the dress was halter type dress that was a pure white. She was at the same time tired, so tired that she didn't notice Alucard kiss the curve of her jaw. She sort of sunk into it. 

"Alucard, just feed me and let me sleep." She murmured  

"You came to yell at me?"

"Yes." She was slowly slipping  "Just let me eat. I don't what you've to me… I wasn't feeling sleepy."

He picked her up and sat her down, once she seating he kneeled and placedhis head in her lap. Integral eyes flew open. 

"_Alucard…?" _

"Master."

"Wh—wha—what are you doing?" Her fingers found themselves in his hair.

"Nothing."

"You're up to something. I can feel it." She hissed 

He got up and shrugged, though it left Integral craving more. 

"Eat Master."

Integral looked down and found Teriyaki Chicken and rice. She picked up the chopsticks that Alucard left on the table and eat peacefully.  Integral didn't know what was going on, but she was dying to find out. 

**You'll just have to wait and see won't ya??? I'll do responses next chapter, I won't update for a good month or two because I have exams and I'm sick. Lovely combination at the same time ne? **


	3. Care Bears No!

**Setine: The final chapter is here.  Thanks so much for the reviews. Tell me if you want a Christmas one. **

**--**

Alucard watched her eat her food slowly, entwining his fingers within each other to give a sinister look. 

"What are you up to Alucard?" Integral muttered as she drank some wine. 

"Nothing Master." 

"You lie." 

"Fine. I have a proposition for you."

"No." 

Alucard disregarded that comment, and whispered into her ear.

"I know what you did last summer."

Integral spat up all over Alucard. 

All the forces of Hellsing were looking at a balcony (which they didn't know existed) and they're leader was supposed to come out. 

"I AM NOT DOING IT!!" came a yell. 

"Do it. Or I tell the world." Came another voice 

The troops were starting to get suspicious.

"Alucard no."

"Yes Master."

"No!!" 

The troops saw Integral Hellsing being pushed out looking flustered. 

"Hello Troops." She said coolly. 

"Do it!" Alucard hissed from inside

"I—Alucard has something to tell you all." Integral blurted

The troops shifted their feet and let a sigh of relief, frankly, the vampire didn't scare them as much as Integral's wrath. Integral shoved him out to face the troops. 

"Hello foolish mortals."

Rule One: Don't question Alucard, he questions you… 

Alucard just stood there, rocking on his heels. 

"Don't have the guts do you?"  Integral whispered

Alucard fumed when she said that. 

"Your leader—well, last summer, she went to a—"

Before Alucard could finish Integral blurted, "Alucard is afraid of Care Bears!"

Alucard stood and gasped with as Integral looked at the ground. The Troops looked and mumbled among themselves.

"Master keeps a picture of Johnny Depp in her drawer!" 

Integral looked at him and narrowed her eyes. 

"Alucard flew out of a roller coaster when I was 15 because he thought that he could defy gravity." 

"Master fell in her bath tub on a pair of Gucci slippers!"

"I LIKE GUCCI!! Alucard is addicted to Toblerone even though he doesn't need it."

"You know Master's tea, isn't really tea, it's diet Pepsi!" 

"Alucard has a poster of Audrey Hepburn above his coffin!"

"Integral tried to quit smoking last year and she wore 25 nicotine patches on her arm!"

"QUIT CALLING ME YOUR EQUAL!!" 

"Integral got arrested for a riot in London for the **FIFA WORLD CUP** last summer!" 

He reached into his coat pocket and let it to the winds. 

In the picture Integral had red hair and dark framed glasses, wearing blue jeans and a tank top with **Arsenal Forever** written across the top. Her hands were behind her back and she was being forced into a police car.  Many of the officers thought that she looked extremely sexy as a punk, but still, in sum in a word—whoa. It was weird to see the calm, cool and collected 'Fairbrook' (her alias given, stupid Bobby's) be arrested for football match. It's not known how she escaped British police, but to the expense of her Goth boyfriend Alucard.

"I told you to scream for me Master."

Integral was so furious that she didn't even notice when Alucard kissed her in front of everyone. Of course, he got shot—again, but they were used to it. 

"Tell anyone, you'll end like Alucard."

"Kissing the Sir?" asked one

"I want to be him…"

Later that night, after all the terrified glances at Integral and her wrath, after all of Alucard's taunting, Integral lay on her bed drinking her Pepsi with some ear phones on her head.

_You fell away, _

_What more can I say?_

_The feelings that evolved _

_I won't let them out…_

Integral groaned as she tried to turn up her Coldplay CD to drone out the song. It had become Alucard's favorite for some twisted reason from the Queen Of The Damned OST.

"Note to self. Slowly shoot Ceras." Integral murmured as she tried to concentrate on Yellow by Coldplay 

Why won't you die? 

"That's the exact question I ask myself all the time. Great, now I'm talking to myself." 

_Your blood and mine, _

_Your body will be mine. _

Alucard sauntered into her bedroom, and was greeted by a glare. Sliding into her bed, reeking off-not gun powder, but cologne. 

"Alucard you smell." Integral turned her head away. Alucard raised an eyebrow, she didn't get mad that he was in bed with her, but his smell. 

"And get out of my bed." She kicked him underneath the sheets. 

Alucard caught her foot in between his calves. 

"Don't start this again." Integral yelled as Alucard shifted so that she was on top again. 

"OooO Master, a dress."

"Alucard… I'm wearing pants."

"Oh… it never hurts to dream."

"Maybe I should wear a Care Bear shirt?" Integral spat

Alucard's smirk dropped and she cried out when he moved her arms behind her back and pushed her off. 

"Alucard remove your arms." 

"Not before you scream."

"Never." 

Alucard pinned her arms to the headrest so that she would look at him. 

"Would you scream if I said I love you?" 

Integral several times before started to laugh.

"You're a moron! You mutter that in your coffin." 

"I mutter?" 

"Yes. You talk a lot too." 

"About what?"

"You're getting off subject."

"So? Will it?"

"What? Alucard you're annoying me… and cutting off my blood supply to my arms." 

"All that power."

"Are you inhaling something?"

"I don't inhale."

"It's an expression. Why am I having this conversation?" Integral sighed then tried to kick him in the jaw. "Let. Me. Go." 

Alucard kissed her again. "No."

"Don't ever kiss me again."

 He did so. 

"ALUCARD!!!!" Integral screamed for Alucard to stop. 

**End. **

Not the ending you were hoping? Arsenal is the team from around London, suits Integral to be a huge football fan. Bobby's are British police, and I think that's all for my ending notes. The song from the song that Alucard was playing was System by Chester Bennington.  Thank you for reading. 


End file.
